SoSAFE! Information for Parents and Carers

We are dedicated to fostering the social and emotional development of our learners through the SoSAFE! program.

What is SoSAFE!?

SoSAFE! is an evidence-based, inclusive educational initiative designed specifically for learners with moderate and severe learning difficulties. This program teaches learners about social safety, including relationships, boundaries, and personal safety, in a manner that is both engaging and accessible. Utilizing visual tools and clear social scripts, SoSAFE! supports learners in understanding how to interact safely and respectfully with others. By implementing SoSAFE!, we equip our learners with essential skills to build positive relationships and confidently navigate social situations, thereby enhancing their well-being and success both in and out of school.

Body Parts

Through the SoSAFE! program and RSHE (Relationships, Sex, and Health Education), we teach anatomically correct names for all body parts. It is essential that our learners know the correct anatomical names to ensure there is no confusion when they are explaining pain or discomfort, or in the unfortunate instance that they need to make a disclosure.

Learners are taught that they have some body parts that are private and that only a private helper can support with intimate care or for medical purposes.

Private Helpers

There are two categories of private helpers: a private helper who can assist with washing or wiping private parts (intimate care) and a private helper who can help stop private parts from hurting (medical professional).

Parents/carers are often private helpers for their child, as are staff supporting the learner with intimate care at school. We believe it is important to limit the number of private helpers involved in the intimate care of a young person to maintain their dignity and to develop an understanding that not everyone they come into contact with is able to provide intimate care.

At Cann Bridge, each learner has 4 helpers within their class. No other person within the school will complete intimate care. Learners will be supported to identify their private helpers. We would advise, where possible, that the number of private helpers outside of school is limited.

Public and Private

Learners are taught the meaning of public and private places. They learn that some spaces are public (accessible to everybody), while others are private (a place where others cannot see or hear them doing private things), such as the bathroom, bedroom, etc.

Learners will learn that using the toilet or having a bath is private, so these activities should be done in a private space.

Private things relate to private parts of the body and often include washing, cleaning, dealing with menstruation, or getting dressed. However, it could also include masturbating or intercourse, which would be discussed with learners individually should the need arise. It is important not to tell our learners that masturbating is wrong, but we must make sure learners know that it should be done in a private space while they are alone.

Consent

A key concept of the SoSAFE! program is the concept of consent. All learners will be taught the concept of consent.

The principle is:

• I say yes, you say yes, and the behavior is safe and appropriate – OK
• I say yes, you say yes, but the behavior is not safe and appropriate – Not OK
• I say yes, you say no – Not OK

Talk Touch Triangle

The Talk Touch Triangle visually shows who we can talk to and to what degree, and how this may change as relationships develop and evolve. It is important for our learners to understand that we talk first (ask for consent) before we touch people.

The Talk Touch Triangle differentiates the nine categories of relationships our learners may experience and the different levels of verbal and physical intimacy that are appropriate within these relationships, provided consent is given by all parties. This tool only shows behaviors that are OK (permissible, appropriate, and moral) with consent, but learners are taught that they do not have to consent to all listed behaviors.

The nine categories of relationship, from greatest to least intimacy, are:

• Partner
• Boy/girlfriend
• Family
• Close friends
• Friends
• Community workers I know
• Other people I know (acquaintances)
• Community workers I don’t know (strangers)
• Other people I don’t know (strangers)

The Talk Touch Triangle visually shows how much verbal and physical intimacy is appropriate within each relationship category. For example, a person in the "other people I don’t know" category has zero intimacy, while a partner has the greatest level of intimacy.

Levels of verbal and physical intimacy are taught for each category, and learners are taught that consent must be given by both parties before they touch or before somebody touches them.

People and Relationship Book (PRB)

One of the most valuable tools for supporting understanding of the SoSAFE! program is the People and Relationship Book (PRB).

This book opens with a list of OK helpers (people to contact in an emergency) and a help page. The help page gives learners a method for reporting if something is wrong or if they are hurt.

The PRB also includes a list of private helpers to support with washing and wiping, as well as private helpers for medical purposes. Learners are encouraged to check their PRB to ensure the person supporting them is a private helper.

The PRB then contains pages with photos of people in each category, and a list of OK behaviors (green) and not OK behaviors (red). There is a separate page for each category, and it is important to note that people can only be in one category—so a family member can’t also be a friend, and a friend can’t be both a friend and a boyfriend. People can move into different categories as relationships change, but they must be removed from the previous category.

Consent is key here.

Consent must be given by each person, and the behavior must be green to continue. For example:

• For families hugging: I say yes, you say yes … the behavior is green, so it is OK. If I say yes, you say no, then it is not OK, and it can’t happen even though the behavior is green.
• For friends cuddling: I say yes, you say yes … but the behavior is red, so it is not OK. It can’t happen even though consent was given.

Steps to Relationships

The Steps to Relationship Guide is in place to support learners in understanding how to move through the different phases of relationships, should they wish to. Progression to the next step must only happen with mutual consent from both parties.

These steps are:

1. Meeting people
2. Becoming friends
3. Becoming close friends
4. Becoming boyfriend/girlfriend
5. Becoming partners

Steps 1 and 2 are non-intimate, while steps 3, 4, and 5 can be either intimate or non-intimate.

If you would like any further information or advice, please contact the Health & Wellbeing Lead.